Can’t Use Thai Spouse to Buy Land

May 29, 2009 at 4:04 am (Thai Culture, real estate)
Tags: , , ,

Land purchase through Thai spouse forbidden: Land Dept

PHUKET CITY: The director general of the Land Department has reiterated that foreigners using Thai nominees to buy land anywhere in the country will have their land title deeds revoked if caught – even if the nominee in question is a lawfully wedded spouse.

Land Department Director Anuwat Meteewiboonwut made the comments during a recent stop in Phuket as part of a nationwide inspection tour of 30 provinces.

The tour is aimed at improving public services by land officials in three areas: dress, conduct when dealing with the public and working harder to eliminate a backlog of work.

Many members of the public have complained that it takes up to a year to complete a transaction that should only take one day, he said.

Mr Anuwat, a former governor of both Phang Nga and Samut Prakan provinces, said he was satisfied on the first two points, but rated the general level of success among land officials nationwide at speeding up their work rate at “only 30%”.

The next round of inspection tours will come in July, after which time personnel changes will be considered if service does not improve, he said.

“We have to keep pressure on them, otherwise the work will not get done,” he said.

As for foreigners seeking to buy homes in Phuket, they can do so through the Condominium Act, which allows foreign ownership of up to 49% of any project, he said.

Foreigners cannot use a Thai spouse as a nominee to buy property in Thailand, however.

“If the Thai spouse has enough money to buy the house that is fine, but if the Thai has no money and uses money given to him or her by a foreigner to acquire property, that is against the law. If we check and find out later that a Thai person has been using money from a foreigner to buy land anywhere in Thailand, we will revoke title deeds,” he said.

Mr Anuwat said the provisions of [Ministry of Interior] ministerial order 43 makes it difficult to issue land documents quickly, as it requires action from a number of different agencies. Desire for land on the island has also led to encroachment problems here, he said.

As a key market for property companies, Phuket is a constant source of problems and complaints to the director general’s office, he admitted.

“We will try to resolve these problems and develop our personnel continuously in order to provide high quality services. Fortunately the governor of Phuket used to work in the Land Department, so he understands the procedures and can help co-ordinate all the agencies involved,” he said.

Mr Anuwat was speaking of Phuket Governor Wichai Phraisa-ngop, who served as Land Office director in Nakhon Pathom in 1997 and as deputy director of the Land Department nationwide in 2003.

– Phuket Gazette 2009-05-27

Leave a Comment

Expat Life: Visa Run to Laos

May 14, 2009 at 6:52 am (Thailand tourism, expat life, travel)
Tags: , ,

A few days ago, I made my first visa run to Laos, by bus.

Normally I go to Singapore to get a 60-day tourist visa, but the last time I went, they refused to give me a 60-day visa because I have an open e-ticket back to Canada. They now want a confirmed ticket, and will not accept an open ticket. This is stupid, if you ask me. I told the lady at the front desk that if the violence in Bangkok gets bad, I can phone Air Canada and be on my way next day, so an open ticket is much better than a ticket for a particular date. No dice. So I had to fly back to Bangkok and got the usual 30-day entry at the airport. The entire trip cost me 18,000 baht, counting hotels, flights, meals, taxis, etc. What a waste.

I did a couple of visa runs by bus to Cambodia, and find that a pain in the bum, since you only get 14 days and then have to do it again, and it costs 2000 baht each time.

So this time, I signed up for the bus to Vientiane.

I must say that the service by the visa run company was excellent; the bus (a 40-seater) was full, and it was the same comfortable bus they use for the Cambodia runs, with the same driver. The driver is relatively conservative, seems to be mindful of the fact he’s got 40 farangs on board, and is as careful a driver as you would want.

The bus left PB Tower on Sukhumvit Soi 71 exactly at 8:30PM.

There was a pee break about an hour later at a service centre, and then another 2 hours later, and so on, throughout the night. These gave the driver a chance to relax a bit, which I thought was a good idea.

Unfortunately, I have never been able to sleep on a bus or airplane, and this trip was no exception. While my seat mate happily snored away the night, I sat there bleary eyed, shifting in my seat periodically as my bum got sore. I appreciated the rest breaks as well.

A DVD movie was played at the start of the trip, but after it finished, it was after 11PM, so no more movies were shown.

We arrived at the border early, before 6:30. I watched the sun come up. We had to sit around for a while until the border office opened, and then one of the bus company ladies got all our passports processed. She had previously collected them on the bus.

After being stamped out of Thailand, we took 3 mini-buses (vans) across the bridge (Mekong River) into Laos, where again we waited while the lady got our passports processed by Lao immigration. In less than an hour, we took the mini-buses into Vientiane, and arrived at the street for the Thai Embassy about 7:30 or 7:40 AM. There were already at least 200 people lined up along the sidewalk, and it was hot.

The embassy gates opened about 8:15 AM, and we all filed into the embassy compound. There was a ticket machine at the front, and we joined the queue.

However, our erstwhile visa run lady ushered us up the stairs into an air-conditioned area and handed out low-numbered tickets from the machine. Our numbers started around 95, whereas the people at the ticket machine were getting tickets numbered over 350. So I presume she had some contact in Vientiane who stood at the beginning of the line at the gates at an early hour, and then passed the tickets to her when she arrived an hour or more later.

The ticket numbers were called out over the public address system in both Thai and English, and repeated once: “Ticket number 37, please proceed to counter number 2″.

I soon noticed that there was no pause in the number callout, the announcements came non-stop, and soon reached the 80s. We all rushed downstairs to the counters and were there when our numbers came up. But the numbers just kept on rolling by. Our lady collected our passports and tickets, and lined them all up along the counter, and then told us to go wait in the other building.

Over there, we found there were four more counters, numbered 3 through 6, but only one, counter 4, was active, and there were at least 100 people waiting, sitting on chairs. This waiting room was also air conditioned.

Again, the numbers were called out, but this time there were big gaps between, and there was a substantial pause after each number was called. When a number was called, a person went up to counter 4, received a paper receipt, and then exited stage left.

After every batch of 10 or 12 numbers, there was a 5 or 6 minute delay. That was when I noticed that the Thai lady behind the counter was printing out and then separating the receipts. Clearly, the passports and applications were being processed in the other building, entered into a computer, and then the receipt was printed in this building at counter 4.

After about 30 or 40 minutes, my number was called; I went up to the counter, got my receipt and exited. The guy next to me had a lower number, but his number was not called, so he got a little upset and went up to the counter, where the lady told him to wait.

I went out the exit, and there was my visa run lady collecting the receipts, and then ushering us over to one of the vans. My receipt had shown “60 days double entry tourist visa” and “fee: $0″, so I was happy.

The van took us to a local restaurant where we had a Thai/Lao food breakfast or brunch of fried rice and whatever. This was free, paid for by the visa run company, but soft drinks were 20 baht extra.

In Laos, you can use Lao kip, Thai baht, and US dollars interchangeably. If you pay in Thai baht, you get change in Thai baht. If you pay in US dollars, you get change in Lao kip, which, like Cambodian currency, has very high denominations and no value. A Pepsi was 20 baht, which was reasonable, but no diet drinks were available. By the way, ATM machines in Laos only dispense Lao kip.

After brunch, we were taken by van to the hotel, which turned out to be quite acceptable, maybe 2.5 stars. There was no pool, just a room, but it was a big room, private bathroom, and cable or satellite TV with many Thai, a few Lao, and some movie channels, including HBO and Star Movies.

The bathroom was typical Thai-style, with no shower stall or bath, and a shower head on the wall. There was a flash water heater which worked, and the toilet worked. The towels were large, red, fluffy, and obviously new.

I had paid an extra 200 baht at the front desk for a private room. The visa run fee of 5000 baht includes a shared room (2 per room). The fee will increase to 6000 baht after the free tourist visa promotion ends June 5.

In bed by 1PM in the afternoon, I slept for several hours, got up, showered, watched a movie, then went out in search of dinner. I walked up and down the main street near the hotel, but there was nothing appealing. However, the office complex 20 meters from the hotel had a restaurant, so I went in there and found 5 other farangs from the visa run also there. The food was good, the prices were not expensive, and I was able to pay with Thai baht. The young lady behind the bar was probably the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on, and I have been to Thailand off and on for 20 years. She made me wish I was 25 again.

Next day, I had breakfast at the same restaurant, and then around 1PM, we piled into the vans again and were taken to the border. There are a lot of “duty free” shops at the border. We waited about 45 minutes or so, and then the visa run lady showed up, and we all went through Immigration with the Lao border people just looking at us, not asking to see our passports, which the visa run lady had.

Back across the bridge to Thailand, where we waited another 45 minutes or so, then it was back on the bus for the return trip. Within an hour, we stopped at a restaurant, where we had another Thai meal, again free, soft drinks extra, 20 baht.

The return trip seemed much faster, as several DVD movies were played, which occupies the time and the mind.

We arrived back in Bangkok at 1:30 AM. You can get dropped off anywhere along the route; some exited at Ramkhamhaeng. I waited until the end, which is just beside Ekamai BTS station, where I quickly discovered that the BTS was closed. An 80 baht taxi ride later, I was home again.

Would I do it again? Definitely, yes. The whole process was pretty much automatic. The company took care of everything.  You do have to book a seat in advance, though. One farang apparently called to find out the price and time, showed up and was angry that there was no seat for him. But he had not made a reservation, had not left his name or phone number, so was out of luck. Of course, he had left it until the last day of his visa, so he would have to leave the next day somehow and pay the 500 baht overstay fee.

To summarize: you leave at 8:30PM, spend a night on the bus. Then it’s half a day waiting around, with brunch included. Check into the hotel, sleep a bit or, if you have the stamina, explore Vientiane. Not much there, though. Have dinner, sleep one night at the hotel. Next day, wait around for a morning or visit Vientiane, then bus it back to Bangkok, arriving about 1:30 AM.

If you want to do this yourself, the company I used was “Quick Thai Visa Run”, 6th floor, PB Tower, Sukhumvit Soi 71. The contact is Phillip, who speaks perfect English, at 02-713-2498 (office hours) or 09-0245-255 (24 hours). They have a web site at www.ThaiVisaRun.com, but it hasn’t been updated in a while, and only mentions their Cambodia run, not the Laos run.

About the Author:

Douglas Anderson is the author of Speak Easy Thai, an easy way to learn Thai vocabulary. The software runs on Windows PCs or Macs under BootCamp and includes Fundamentals of Thai Grammar, a 350-page eBook. Speak Easy Thai uses the Internet for updates, but does not require an Internet connection during operation.

More Thai resources at Learn Thai Faster!

1 Comments

Yet Another Cambodia Visa Run

April 14, 2009 at 12:54 am (Thailand tourism, expat life, travel)
Tags: ,

Although I swore I would never do it again, I made another visa run to Cambodia by bus. The one I use leaves from the coffee shop opposite Ekamai Bus Station at Sukhumvit Soi 31. It leaves at 9:30 AM, which is an OK time for me, and returns about 7PM the same day. It costs 2000 baht, and you need your passport (of course), 2 passport photos, plus a photocopy of the ID page of your passport.

It’s one day, there and back by bus. It’s a big tour bus, but no toilet, but they do play DVDs. It’s 4.5 hours there, 1 hour at the border, 4.5 hours back, more or less depending on traffic.

It’s hard on the bum. There is a toilet break half way both directions, and they feed you a free lunch. It costs 2000 baht which is about Cdn$72 currently. Half goes to the Cambodian government for a 30 day visa which is issued and then immediately cancelled. The bad news is that this visa takes up a whole page in your passport, it’s not just a stamp.

Coming back into Thailand, they give you only a 14 day visa. It used to be 30 days and an unlimited number of entries; now it’s 14 days and a max of 3 entries. While Thailand desperately needs tourists and the Tourist Association of Thailand is advertising worldwide, the Immigration Dept is making it more difficult. It’s the Thai way.

Cambodia is dirt poor, literally.

The village at the border has few paved roads. There are always a dozen or more children begging for money. One of the little girls that I gave some money to a couple of years ago, when she was 7, is now about 9, I think.

Two years ago, when I gave her about $1, and some other kids lesser amounts, they all ran over to the local shop and bought potato chips and gum and candy, so I don’t give them money any more.

The kids go to school (I asked) but learn only pissah khmen (Khmer), no Thai, no English, at least at that age. However, the kids understand and speak some Thai, which is what I use, and the 9 year old girl now understands and speaks some English, which she apparently taught herself in the few brief moments while trying to wheedle money out of the farangs. Poor, yes, stupid, no.

The kids call me “papa”, which is the word they use for all old guys. The kids are downright cute, I can understand why people want to adopt them. I believe Angelina Jolie adopted a Cambodian boy after making Tomb Raider there.

Two years ago, when tanks rolled into Bangkok, the military closed all borders and people were stranded for a week. I was praying that would not happen again, and it didn’t.

The worst part, other than the long sitting, and the often crappy movies, is the toilets at the highway rest stops (gasoline stations with an attached market), which are awful. First thing I do back in Bangkok is walk to the Landmark Hotel and use their toilet. Last night I also had dinner at the Landmark’s Huntsman’s Pub in the basement, something I rarely do because it charges Western prices. However, I needed real Western food, other than hamburgers and KFC, and so had an English meal: pork chop, baked potato, apple sauce, carrots and peas, and a Yorkshire pudding (not as good as my mother’s, though). But the Coke Zero was 106 baht (more than $3) and the entire dinner cost 455 baht (an arm and a leg). I often eat from a street vendor for 40 baht, and did so tonight.

I hate this trip and each time vow never to do it again, but it’s cheap, and I needed a delay until I get my new software product done. I have to leave Thailand again on the 26th.

Surprisingly, the day after the trip, I always suffer from “bus lag”; I am always exhausted, no energy, short attention span, sleep a lot.

Leave a Comment

Learn Thai Like a Child

January 16, 2009 at 2:04 am (Thai language, learning Thai)
Tags: , ,

How does a child learn a language? They are born unable to speak, and for the first 12 months, just make noises. But after 12 months, words come. Single words initially, but by 24 months, most children are speaking in simple sentences and have a vocabulary of several hundred words.

By the age of 5, most children can form complex sentence structures and communicate their thoughts and desires quite well.

How did they learn that? No young child has formal grammar lessons, they don’t do verb conjugations, they don’t do spelling tests, and they have no idea what “grammar” means.

In Western cultures, parents often sit with a young child looking at picture books and encourage learning. In Asian cultures, especially in poor Asian families, this is less of an occurrence, simply because they can’t afford to buy books. Still, even in Asian cultures, children are reasonably fluent in their language by the age of 5.

How, exactly, do they do that? And can you use the same techniques to learn a language like Thai?

The short answer is “imitation”. Children copy adults. They hear the sounds, they see the actions associated with those sounds, and their brains make connections.

The brain is a complex instrument; some people compare it to a computer, as it has inputs (sight, taste, sound, touch) and outputs (speech, movement), and storage (memory). But it is more complex than any existing computer. Your brain is constantly taking in information every waking moment, filtering some of it out, and storing the rest in “short term memory”. For example, as I am writing this here in my room in Bangkok, I can hear traffic noise from the Expressway which is not far away. My brain is not storing that noise very long, maybe only a second or two, and then it is discarded. But if someone talks to me, the storage time dramatically increases; I can recall what someone said to me half an hour ago, but if you ask me to repeat what someone said two hours or two months ago, the exact words are lost, all I have retained is the general concept. Your “long term memory” contains far fewer details.

When you try to learn an “alien” language like Thai, you need to find a way to make the brain remember the details. I call it “alien” because Thai does not use English characters, it has its own alphabet. The sounds and rhythm of the language are different from English and other European languages, the grammar is totally different, and the vocabulary has different base sounds. “Alien” seems more appropriate than “foreign”.

Children learn by imitation. But you have an adult brain. If someone sits in front of you and says “meu” 35 times, and you repeat it 35 times, will you remember the word? Probably not, because it is not in any kind of context. While you might remember it for a day, a month later it’s gone. It’s just a sound, has no meaning. But if I show you a picture of a hand with six fingers, not five, and say “meu” twice, only twice, chances are you will remember that word the rest of your life.

Why is that? Because hands normally have five fingers, if I show you a picture of a hand with six fingers, that is something different; your brain will associate that picture and the sound together and make a permanent link in your memory. That’s how children learn, but we have tricked the brain to learn faster by making the image unusual to force the link.

Furthermore, if I show you a picture of the Thai word for hand in Thai script at the same time as I show you the image and say the word, your brain will store two images… the pattern of the Thai word and the picture of the hand, along with the sound of the word; this is a three way link. A week later, when you see that word written in Thai, your brain will fire a recognition trigger and pull up the image of the six-fingered hand and you will hear the word in your brain. You didn’t learn the Thai script, the characters, you learned the pattern of characters that makes the word.

It’s like seeing “WORD” as “WORD” rather than “W”, “O”, “R”, “D”.  It’s the whole pattern that is important, not the individual letters. While you are reading this article, you are recognizing words, not spelling letters.

This is why I wrote Speak Easy Thai the way I did; the software uses 5000 interesting pictures tied to 5000 words spoken by native Thai speakers and shows you the Thai word in Thai script so your brain can make those important 3-way links. This is an excellent way to learn vocabulary; you just use the program for 10 or 15 minutes whenever you feel like it, and you get new vocabulary each time.

There is another section of Speak Easy Thai which shows 16 cartoon scenarios of common situations, like shopping in a supermarket, being in a classroom, renting a car, etc. I chose to have a young girl (my niece) draw these cartoons because she was not a professional artist. I knew in advance that her drawings would be childish and not professional, and they are. And because of that, they are memorable. When you learn vocabulary with her cartoons, you are learning words in context, like a child, and because the cartoons are different, your brain makes the 3-way links.

I have toured many of the world’s greatest museums and art galleries and viewed thousands of paintings and sculptures. But the ones I remember are the ones that were different in some way: Gauguin’s colourful south seas series is highly memorable, much more so than the thousands of renaissance art pieces. Michelangelo’s David is another example. Dali’s paintings are one more.

While Speak Easy Thai’s cartoons are certainly not up to the caliber of Gauguin, they are different enough from the norm that your brain remembers the cartoon and the Thai words in context.

Learn like a child. See, hear, remember. That’s what Speak Easy Thai is all about.

About the Author:

Douglas Anderson is the author of Speak Easy Thai [http://www.Thai-Culture-Publishing.com], an easy way to learn Thai vocabulary. The software runs on Windows PCs or Macs under BootCamp and includes Fundamentals of Thai Grammar [http://www.learn-faster.org/Thai], a 350-page eBook. Speak Easy Thai uses the Internet for updates, but does not require an Internet connection during operation.

More Thai resources at Learn Thai Faster! [http://www.learn-faster.org/Thai/]

Leave a Comment

Save Money with Pre-Paid Phone Calling Cards

December 30, 2008 at 8:31 am (Saving Money)
Tags: , , ,

Prepaid calling cards are great to call anywhere around the globe without any agreements, contracts or monthly bills. Calls can be made from any type of phone, private and public, even hotels or offices. Many of these prepaid calling cards also offer PIN-less dialing, an option that allows you to avoid using all those complicated codes when placing a call.

Here are the advantages of buying a NobelCom prepaid calling card:

  • low rates for international destinations
  • high quality and increased connectivity
  • 24/7  customer service
  • international access from over 150 countries
  • over 450 Local Access Numbers
  • enhanced calling card features
  • PIN-less dialing
  • automatic recharge
  • call from anywhere, anytime
  • access from home, payphones, offices, hotels
  • and much more…

Leave a Comment

Baby Elephants in Bangkok

December 28, 2008 at 3:33 am (Thai Culture, Thailand tourism, travel)

I was walking in Sukhumvit Soi 4, sightseeing with my friend. I saw two men with a baby elephant. One of the men was selling sugarcane and cucumber to tourists and Thai people so they could feed his elephant. In Thailand, it is considered good luck to touch an elephant or to have an elephant touch you.

The men do this after the rice farming is finished. They buy the sugarcane and cucumber at the market cheaply, then sell them in small bundles at a marked up price. In this way, he makes a profit. The elephant gets fed, and the people get good luck.

Unfortunately, this is illegal, but the police seem to tolerate it.

Elephants need lots of food and water every day, but Thailand’s forests are rapidly disappearing and most elephants are now captive on farms and at tourist sites, where they give elephant rides and demonstrate how they can pull heavy logs.

Leave a Comment

Pink Nipples

December 13, 2008 at 10:27 am (Thai Culture, Thailand tourism, health and fitness, travel)
Tags: , , ,

Tonight I was in Boots, the UK pharmacy that has 106 shops in Thailand, buying some pain pills for my sore back. All pharmacies in Thailand have many skin whitening creams because almost all Thai women think they are “too black”.

Nanomed Pink Nipple Cream

Nanomed Pink Nipple Cream

While we white-skinned Caucasians appreciate their golden beauty, they equate darker skin with poverty, because poor farmers work all day in the rice fields. Every Thai woman I know slobbers whitening cream on her face every night before bed.

Today, though, I was surprised to see Nanomed Pink Nipple Cream. Being a white skinned, red-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian, I was born with pink nipples and whenever I get naked with a Thai woman, that is the first thing they comment on. But I never realised until today that they would actually slobber cream on their lovely brown nipples to turn them pink.

Leave a Comment

Returning to Bangkok

December 9, 2008 at 10:36 am (travel)
Tags: , , ,

A couple of weeks ago, I made the decision to walk away from Canada and my ever-increasing debts, and return to Bangkok, where I can live on my small Canadian pension. I have enough frequent flyer miles with Air Canada’s Aeroplan FF program that I could get to Bangkok for free. But then the People’s Alliance for Democracy (P.A.D.), which as far as I can see, wants to destroy democracy and impose military rule along with a few elected people, closed the airports.

I spent the first night in Montreal, and that was a hassle… it took 90 minutes to check into the airport Holiday Inn because there was a huge crowd of people, mostly Muslims, ahead of me. Apparently a parking garage had collapsed in the city, and a man was killed. The Red Cross evacuated everyone to two hotels after they had stood around for 8 or 10 hours. They did not notify the hotels, just packed people into buses, drove them to the hotels and unloaded all these people with a certificate saying the Red Cross would pay. The Holiday Inn could not cope… they only had 3 people at the reception desk, but could have used 5 more. Eventually they found 2 more, and after 90 minutes, I got to register.

The plane left at 8 AM next morning, (I had to get up at 5, of course), made it to Vancouver OK. Watched 2 movies during the flight. Air Canada charged me $2 for using their earphones; cheap bastards. Sandwiches also cost money, but the soft drinks were free. Air Canada is definitely the worst airline for service and most expensive I have ever used, bar none, and I have flown all over the world for more than 40 years.

Walked a couple of miles inside the Vancouver airport terminal to change planes, then flew to Tokyo, which I think was an 11 hour flight, I forget. Watched 3 movies. Food and drinks free, earphones free. Flight was ANA, a Japanese airline.

When I arrived at Tokyo Narita airport, a smiling hostess handed out flyers to the 5 or 6 of us going to Bangkok saying the Bangkok airport was closed, and ANA recommended returning to my home country. I didn’t think much of that idea.

Checked into the Holiday Inn with no problems. There was free Internet access, so I used my computer and Skype to make phone calls and try and re-route my Tokyo to Bangkok flight. Could not get through to ANA’s call centre, so the next morning I took Holiday Inn’s free shuttle back to the airport and went to the ANA counter and basically got nowhere. Flight was cancelled and they would not pay compensation for the night at the Holiday Inn. Went up 3 levels of management, smiles all the way, but no satisfaction.

Back to the hotel, and using Skype, called Aeroplan because these flights were free, using my frequent flyer points. Spent half an hour waiting on hold, but eventually got through to the Aeroplan call centre. Friendly lady was able to change my flight from Tokyo to Bangkok to Tokyo to Singapore at no charge (money or points). Spent half an hour researching hotels in Singapore using the web, then booked into a cheap 2 star hotel in the historic Geylang area of Singapore, which I had never visited in my 8 or 10 visits to Singapore.

Next day flew to Singapore, watching another 3 movies, and arrived at the hotel around 9 PM or so. Was surprised to see at least 50 or 60 beautiful young women lined up along the sidewalks around the hotel. Checked in, and discovered the first 5 floors were short-time rentals, and top 3 floors were regular hotel. Being a 2 star hotel, the room was basic but adequate. Wandered out onto the street, got propositioned at least 20 times, and found my way to a Thai restaurant where I had Thai food and a Pepsi for less than $5.

Singapore is very near the equator, so it’s hot and humid, 24 hours a day. The incessant cough that had plagued me for 18 months in Canada vanished. Sinuses working fine. Seems I am now allergic to cold climates.

Next day I bought an Internet access card for $5 and spent a long time figuring out how to get from Singapore to Bangkok, the main airport in BKK still being closed. Best I could do was book a flight to Phuket, which is 800 km from Bangkok. There is boat and bus service from Phuket, but no train; nearest train station is a 4 or 5 hour bus ride away. Bus takes 14 hours, which I did not really want to do.

Next day, I got to the airport with several hours to kill, so I went to Singapore Airlines and asked if I could fly into U-Tapao military airport as I had read that Thailand had opened that airport, and it turns out they had just scheduled some flights. So I booked a flight from Singapore to U-Tapao; they said there was a free bus service from U-Tapao to Bangkok. Then I tried cancelling my Singapore to Phuket flight, which was with Silk Air, a subsidiary of Singapore Airlines. They don’t have a counter at the airport. I could not get through to their call centre and there was no hold queue. However, Singapore Airport provides free wireless Internet access throughout the terminal, so I checked in for my flight, had lunch and set up my laptop with Skype and kept re-dialing until finally I got through. Yes, they could cancel the flight but it would take 6 weeks to get the refund. Funny how these airlines are always quick to take your money but have a great big problem with refunds.

The flight to U-Tapao was mostly empty, maybe 50 people in a plane that could hold 400. Short flight, too, less than an hour. No facilities at U-Tapao, which looks like something from the late 50s or early 60s. There were at least 35 or 40 planes parked on the tarmac. Bus ride to Bangkok took 2.5 hours, a lot longer than I expected, and they dropped us at a 5 star hotel, the Sofitel, which is not far from the area I was staying. A 20 minute taxi ride later, and I was checking into my hotel, the Woraburi on Sukhumvit Soi 4.

Next day, Pad (the lady that owns and runs Thai Culture Publishing) and Kik (former assistant) showed up and we looked at several apartments; settled on one a half kilometre behind the Woraburi for 6000 baht a month, which is Cdn$218, using today’s exchange rate. Wireless Internet is an extra 500 baht ($18) a month. The room comes with a bed and a wardrobe, and a bathroom, which is pretty basic, and a small balcony. There is air conditioning, but no hot water, and no bathtub; as usual with cheap Thai places, the shower head is on the wall and the bathroom itself is the shower stall.

Next day, Kik arranged for a van and 2 guys and they moved some of the office stuff from Pad’s place and the office (which is now closed) to my room, so I now have a desk and chairs, etc. There is no fridge or hot plate.

Yesterday I went with Pad to HomePro, and we picked up a flash water heater and some expanding shower curtain rods and a shower curtain. Installing the heater was not a big deal; I had to use the expanding rods because the apartment management won’t allow holes to be drilled in the tiling. It works fine, but the hoses are too short; today I will go back and get longer hoses.

Living here is great. Food is cheap and there are many restaurants. Everyone is friendly. I can breathe properly with no hacking.

However, it’s obvious that tourism is way down. Sukhumvit Soi 4 is a tourist area, but tourists are few and far between. This is high season now, but there is nobody here; like Bali after the bombings, the place is devoid of people spending money.

My Thai visa is 3 months long. The goal is to switch to marketing mode and promote the 27 web sites I now have, with emphasis on the Thai sites. Hopefully, this will bring in enough income to pay Pad and re-establish the office. I have discussed with Pad what I want her to do, which is basically research each subject and write articles (in Thai) about various aspects of Thai culture; we made a list of 20 broad subject areas. We will post those to her Thai blog; then I will translate them into English and post them to my sites as well as submit them to ezines for wide distribution. In this way, we should get a lot of visitors to our sites and thereby increase the revenue.

I’m starting from scratch (again) but feel excited about it; my depression is completely gone. This is where I belong.

1 Comments

The Thai Mafia and Me

November 23, 2008 at 1:42 pm (Thai Culture)
Tags: , ,

One day, a couple of years ago, one of my assistants left work at her usual time of 5:30 PM. At 9:30 that evening, she called me on the phone, crying:

“Doug, please help me, I need your help!”

I was surprised, because she gave no indication when she left that there was anything wrong.

“I have to pay Mafia man 30,000 baht (about US$1000 at the time).”

“Why?” I asked.

“A year ago, I borrow money, buy motocy’. Now I mus’ pay back.”

“Why didn’t you sell the motorcycle?”

“Cannot, Doug, have acciden’. Motocy’ no good.”

“What happened?”

“My friend and me, we were riding on road in mountain near my home. Big truck come roun’ corner, almost kill us. My frien’, she have two broken leg. Me, I am OK. But motocy’ no good. Truck run over it. Cannot sell.”

“OK, so why are you asking me for money? What about your family?”

“They have no money. If you not pay, mafia man he kill me and my family.”

“Did you tell the police?”

“No! Cannot! Mafia man pay police! Police no good!”

“OK, so how do I do this?”

“I give you number my accoun’, you can send money at ATM.”

So she did that, and I walked the 15 minute walk to the nearest ATM, and transferred 30,000 baht from my account to hers. By this time, it was almost 10:00 PM.

Next morning she came to work looking tired and depressed. She had a black eye. It was obvious he had hit her, but I asked anyway.

“He hit me because I was late to pay.”

“Did he do anything else?”

“No, Doug, only hit.”

“OK, I still think we should go to the police. I will go with you.”

She got very animated then, “No, Doug, police no good in Thailand. You not understan’. Mafia man pay police. If I go to police, he kill my family.”

Now, before I had come to Thailand, a friend who was formerly an RCMP officer and a Vietnam vet told me that if I ever needed help, to go to a bar called the Texas Lone Staar Saloon (with 2 As in Star). He said that is the bar where the Vietnam vets hang out.

So I did some research and easily located it, as it is in Washington Square on Sukhumvit, just behind the Mambo Cabaret which features spectacular ladyboy shows. Next day, I made my way there, and went into the bar. I was expecting to see half a dozen or more guys looking like Rambo with bulging muscles and all-black uniforms.

But there was just a bunch of old men, with pot bellies and no hair. The Vietnam war was a long time ago, so all these guys were older than me, and I’m no spring chicken.

Anyway, I started talking to one vet, and told him I was working on a computer project and one of my assistants had been punched in the face by a Thai Mafia guy because she was late paying back a loan. I told him that I felt like paying the guy a visit and teaching him a lesson.

Before I could go any further, the guy, looking horrified, said, “No! Don’t do that! Don’t have anything to do with the Thai Mafia! Run like hell and get as far away as you can! Those guys are bad news!”

So much for retribution.

A week later, she did it again. She left work every day without saying anything other than the usual “goodbye, see you tomorrow.”

But at 9:30 PM one night, a week after the first incident, she called again, crying, “Doug, please help me!”

I said, “What now?”

She said, “Mafia man want interest now. “

“How much is that?”

“12,000 baht (about US$300).”

That works out to 40% interest.

So I made the trek to the ATM and transferred the money.

Next morning she came to work at the usual time, but no new black eye.

“Did he hit you?” I asked.

“No, Doug, his son whip me with telephone cord.”

She bent down and pulled the collar of her shirt back and I could see a red welt across her back, just below the neck.

I asked her why she had not told me in the office about this problem.

No answer. She just hung her head.

But, of course, I knew the answer to that. Loss of face.

Leave a Comment

Tips for Learning the Thai Language

November 23, 2008 at 12:36 pm (Thai Culture, Thai language, learning Thai, travel)
Tags: , ,

Thai uses a simple sentence structure: Subject, Verb, Object. If the subject is a pronoun, you can leave it out if the context is clear:

I live in Rayong –> live in Rayong –> yoo tee Rayong.

Verbs are not conjugated; past, present, and future all use the same word; you use time words to indicate the tense, and the time word always follows the verb.

You indicate past tense by putting “already” (lay-ow) at the end of a sentence or by using a time word (such as “yesterday”). Example, “I ate” –> “I eat already” –> gin [with a hard G] lay-ow.

Future is indicated with “will/shall” (ja). “I shall eat in 2 hours” –> dee-chun ja gin ny song? cheu-mohng. The word for 2 in Thai is “song?” with a rising tone, which is why I put a question mark. In English, questions rise at the end of a sentence.

Plurals are either generic or specific, as in English. With generic plurals, you double the noun. “teeth” –> “tooth tooth”. (This is also true in Malaysian and Indonesian.)

Specific plurals follow a specific pattern, and surprisingly, we do the same in English in certain circumstances. In English, we can say “I have 3 children”, but in Thai, you have to say “I have child 3 person” –> mee dek sahm? kohn. The “child” is the noun, “person” is called a “classifier” or “group word”. An example of this in English is “The farmer has three head of cattle”.

Questions are asked by making a statement and then plopping a question word on the end. “When are you going to the market?” –> “You go market when?” “What is that?” –> “that what?” (which you probably know is nee arai or ahn nee arai). [“ahn” means “thing”. “ahn nee arai” means “thing this what?”]

Negatives are formed by putting “mai” (pronounced “my!” with a falling tone) in front of an adjective or verb. Mai chai, as you probably know, means “not correct”. “Mai bai” means “don’t go”, “mai dee” is “not good” or “no good”, “mai suay” is “not pretty”.

You can also ask a question by pretending you are Canadian, and sticking “eh?” on the end of a statement. In Thai, “eh?” is “mai?” with an upward tone. “This is good, eh?” –> ahn nee dee mai?

Don’t be afraid to learn the Thai alphabet, those funny looking characters are just our letters drawn differently. Thai letters always have a noun attached. For example, “G” is “gah guy”. “Guy” is the Thai word for chicken, as you know, and it begins with that letter. Thai consonants have an implied vowel, which we don’t do in English. A K in English is just a consonant, but in Thai, a K has an implied vowel “ah” or “oh”. You can override the implied vowel by writing a specific vowel.

Thai has several Ks, several Ps and Fs, etc. They use the noun attached to distinguish. We say “B is for Baby”, “C is for Car”, which is the same thing, but in English we can say the letter name by itself, B, C, D, etc. In Thai, you always say the noun so you can distinguish one K from another, one P from another, because all the Ks are called “kah”, all the Ps “pah”, etc.

By the way, English has 3 Ks: K, C, and Q all make K sounds: kitten, cat, quit all have a phonetic K.

We also have 2 Js: John and George both have phonetic J.

And we also have 2 Ss: Cecile and Sam.

And two Zs: amuse and zoo.

So English has some of the same peculiarities as Thai, and these result from the same reason: the historical roots of the language.

Many of the Thai letters are exactly the same as their English equivalents; they are just drawn differently. A hard G in English is a hard G in Thai, but it is drawn in a different fashion.

One other oddity: Thai vowels can appear above, below, behind, and in front of a consonant, but they don’t wander around. A vowel is always pronounced after the consonant, no matter where it is drawn.

And now that you are thoroughly confused, let me leave you with this final mind-blowing thought.

You have been brainwashed since the age of 6 or 7 to accept the English alphabets as normal and natural. We actually have four separate and distinct alphabets, each of which is drawn differently, and each letter in each separate alphabet HAS THE SAME NAME AS IN THE OTHER THREE ALPHABETS. This is very, very stupid, but you accept this as natural because you have been brainwashed. A six year old does not question why the language is that way. I am referring to upper and lower case printing and writing. There are 4 different ways of writing an A, a B, a C, etc. Thai only has one, which makes far more sense. There is no upper and lower case in Thai, and there is no “writing” and “printing”; the Thai word for both [kee-an] translates as “drawing”. So you have to learn one Thai alphabet. Thai people have to learn four English alphabets.

I hope you found this useful, and I wish you fast progress with your Thai. I have had many, many people thank me for writing Speak Easy Thai and making it available so cheaply. In the 45 years I have been programming in Canada, France, and Australia, nobody ever thanked me for my work, but in Thailand, it has been a frequent occurrence. I lived there for 2.5 years while I was finishing the software, packaging it, and getting it on the market. I will be returning November 29, 2008.

Leave a Comment

« Previous entries Next Page » Next Page »